Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps says he's been through some of the 'darkest moments of his life' during quarantine as he opens up about his ongoing mental health struggles, but says he will 'get through this' for the sake of his three sons

Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps is opening up about his mental health struggles, admitting that the pandemic and quarantine have been the 'most difficult time' in his life.

The 34-year-old was one of a dozen participants in Yahoo Life's Reset Your Mind event on May 20, and in a video he recorded at home, he got candid about times in his past when he's broken down and even felt suicidal.

But the pandemic has presented a new set of struggles, and he's gone through some of 'the darkest moments' ever — but he also shared how he is coping and getting through the tough times.

Candid: Olympics swimmer Michael Phelps is opening up about his mental health struggles, admitting that the pandemic and quarantine have been the 'most difficult time' in his life

'I can say this has been the most difficult time for myself to go through,' the athlete admitted

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'I can say this has been the most difficult time for myself to go through,' the athlete admitted during the event, which also included Serena Williams, Hilaria Baldwin, Mayim Bialik, Jewel, Deepak Chopra, Kevin Love, Jillian Michaels, Shailene Woodley.

'I’ve gone through some of, probably the darkest moments, like continuous darkest moments that I've gone through. They've gone on week stretches and it's scary.' 

In the past, he said, he's had 'breakdowns,' finding himself in a 'funk' that he would fall into for a few days.

But the spread of COVID-19 has presented new stresses.

'This time is probably the most stressful time we've all gone through,' he said. 'Really not knowing what to expect, when it's gonna end, when we're gonna be able to go back to normal.'

In particular, he is distressed by rising suicide rates, and especially stories he's read about those fighting COVID-19 on the front lines who've taken their own lives. 

'It breaks my heart every single time I read a story about an athlete or a celebrity or just somebody fighting COVID who takes their own life,' he said.

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'Suicide rates have to stop climbing. It honestly, it drives me insane. I want to start crying right now just because it's — I know how difficult it is in this time.

'I personally have felt that I don’t want to be alive in my life. I’ve felt that feeling before, and it’s scary,' he admitted.

'And I have three little boys here, and I never want to miss a single day. And the days that I struggle, I look at them because those guys are the ones that are helping me get through all of this.'

He also has other ways of coping, which he shared with viewers. 

'I think for me, what I've been able to learn through my experiences through mental health has been sticking to the same routine,' he explained. 'So for me, it’s working out every day, it’s make sure I’m getting the right amount of sleep. If I need to go on a walk, go on a walk. Taking care of what I need to, to make sure I’m the best me.

'I always try to turn a negative into a positive,' he added, saying he will find a goal to focus on for the day. 

'When you reset your focus, you're take a step back, taking a deep breath, and starting a new journey again,' he said. 

Getting through: He said that to cope, he looks at his sons, 'because those guys are the ones that are helping me get through all of this'

Family of five: He and his wife Nicole welcomed their third child, Maverick, in September. They also have sons Boomer and Beckett

In the video, Phelps also looked back on the successes of his career.

'I was very fortunate to accomplish every goal that I ever wrote down on a piece of paper, and it's incredible. It's a great feeling, especially looking back now and being retired,' he said.

But being successful didn't mean he didn't struggle, and he felt that he had to keep those struggles to himself. 

'If I did say something about it, then it would be a weakness. And I'm not supposed to show weakness. As a male athlete, you're not supposed to show that,' he said.

Now, he's much more open about mental health. In 2018, he first revealed that he reached the lowest point of his depression in 2014, when he was suicidal

'For me I was so down on myself, I didn't have any self-love, quite honestly I didn't want to be alive,' he said on the Today show. 

'It was a really, really crazy time. I didn't want to see anybody because I saw myself as letting so many people down, and myself in particular, and that's hard to carry.

'I think over those three or four days when I didn't want to leave my room or talk to anybody, I realized that I can ask for help and it's OK to not be OK. For me that's what changed my life, I never asked for help in my career and that's the first time I did that. 

'I was on my knees and crying for help and I'm lucky to be able to sit down with a therapist and chat and open up.'

Phelps said it was 'challenging' to break a lifetime habit of dealing with problems himself, but that he 'found a way to get through it.' 

It was after he announced his first retirement from swimming in 2012, after a breakdown in his relationship with national team coach Bob Bowman, that his mental health began to really suffer.

Phelps announced a return to swimming in 2014, but in September of that year he was arrested a second time for DUI. He had already been caught intoxicated behind the wheel in 2004.

It was after that arrest that his depression reached its lowest point, but after seeking out a therapist, he was able to effectively manage the condition. 

Come the Rio Olympics in 2016, Phelps scooped five gold medals, including claiming back the 200m butterfly medal that he lost to Chad le Clos in 2012.

Since then he has become an advocate for mental health issues and Talkspace, which is an online and smartphone portal for mental health patients to get in touch with therapists.